GAIJIN GALS - How to make a Japanese guy fall for you
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How to make a Japanese guy fall for you?

Japanese men have different needs than western men, and so your approach should also be different!


As you may already know, the vast majority of Japanese men and Japanese women are very different to other nationalities in terms of behavior and expectations towards one another.

Depending on how you act, these can be things that act in your favor, or are just warning signs that you should tread carefully.

As always, keep in mind that these are general observations and may not necessarily apply to your target, and that Japanese men that are attracted to foreigners are sometimes considered different from average Japanese males.

1 - Don’t be indirect

It’s no small secret that men have trouble understanding what women want. If we were to take the age old debate “What do you want to eat?” as an example, I’m sure you’ve seen various men struggle to debate that issue with you. With a Japanese women however, men face even more difficulty, as they are expected to determine their preferences without a solid “yes” or “no” to their suggestions.


Set yourself apart from Japanese women by being direct and make communication as easy as possible between you and your Japanese partner. Given that you would already have a language barrier in most cases, it would be wise to try and play into the direct personalities that Foreigners are known for, and make their life easier. They may find this refreshing, and will be unable to revert back to having decipher the intentions of Japanese women.
(Note) If you do it too often, it may have the reverse effect and make you seem annoying, so if you have any complaints with them, make sure you don’t overdo it.

2 - Lack of a dating culture

The North American idea of seeing several people at once is not a very popular concept in Japan. Whilst many foreigners have a dating culture in which they go on dates with various different men at once and decide which they like best, this may not be quite as acceptable for your Japanese friend.


Unless you have a very ‘Westernized’ Japanese target, I would recommend not letting them think they are just an ‘option’, but rather someone you are seriously considering to have a relationship with. Of course if that’s not what you’re looking for, then make sure you let them know, just so they know what to expect. A differing level of seriousness in the relationship is bound to bring problems down the road, so it’s better not to waste your time. Make sure you’re on the same page, and let them know that as well.

3 - Take the initiative

‘草食系’ is a Japanese word that means ‘Vegetarian’, and has in recent years been used to describe people that are very passive in romance, and are unlikely to take the initiative. The reason I bring this up, is that many surveys have shown that there has been an increase in ‘Vegetarians’ and even people that would like to engage in romance, but have no idea how.


Don’t wait around for them to ask you out, because it might not happen, even if they do have an interest in you. Take the initiative to approach them, and let them know you’re interested in going out with them. This may seem troublesome at first, but once they know you have feelings for them, they may open up a bit more to you, and gain confidence in taking the initiative more often.

4 - Emasculation

This goes without saying no matter what nationality you’re trying to date, but usually, you shouldn’t try to emasculate your male partner. Especially in Japan however, where despite being a modern society, there are still many remnants of a ‘men-first’ culture. Many Japanese men have glorified expectations to themselves and to their partner on how they should act. For example, males (especially older generations) may insist on paying the bill, or may not take well to criticism in public, even as a joke.


Don’t be over-insistent on things, and allow them to pay the full bill if they wish, and avoid saying negative things about him in public. Another note here is that a common stereotype of Japanese women is that they aren’t very active in bed. Being too aggressive or proactive during your first ’session’ may not always turn out as it would for other men. Make sure to find out what he wants, and try not to be the only one to enjoy the ‘process’.


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