GAIJIN 5 (GO) - Japanese romantic gestures
Written by Jeff

5 Gestures to make a Japanese girl's (or guy's) heart go doki-doki

Japan has its own romantic gestures, and some of them might surprise you! .

In this series 'Gaijin 5 (Go)', I'll be introducing 5 different things for a specific theme every time, from the point of view of a Gaijin living in Tokyo.

This week we take a look at 5 actions that are considered extremely cute and romantic by many Japanese women (if executed correctly), and their various Japanese nicknames.
Of course, these may just be fantasies resulting from reading too much manga, but lets see how many of these you agree with or have tried!

Disclaimer: As with any other human interaction, whether or not these actions are appropriate depends on your relationship and the situation, and is only to be attempted at your own risk.

All images here are taken from google images and belong to their respective owners.

1.壁ドン (Kabé-Don)

The infamous kabé-don or ‘wall pound’ is when a person is leaning against a wall, and another uses one or two arms to lightly pound the wall behind them, thus almost cornering them.This somewhat aggressive action immediately shrinks the distance between two people, and has had an exponential increase in the mainstream consciousness in recent years. (Do be considerate of your neighbors living next door when attempting this though)

2.頭ポン (Atama-Pon)

An atama pon is basically a light head pat. Basically imagine that you are petting/ being pet as an animal.
According to many polls in Japan, this outranks many of the other actions on this list and is often the action most fantasized about for Japanese females.
Of course, this only really works if the male is considerably taller than the female, so…. good luck!


Rather than holding or pulling someone by their hand, the udé-gui is about lightly ( I repeat, LIGHTLY) pulling them on their wrist or forearm towards you, or forcing them to leave with you in that position. At first you may wonder what kind of situation could possibly require this, but the basic consensus seems to be that, this is an action done mostly out of jealousy, in front of potential romantic rivals. E.g. if you were having a party with some other people, and someone was making moves on your girl, you would do this to show everyone that she’s ‘yours’, and to ‘back off’. Other situations where you might use this is if she is about to leave, and you’re trying to make her stay. This may come off as seeming needy, insecure, or even desperate, but depending on the situation, it may make your partner feel wanted and protected. (Again, DO NOT HURT HER/HIM)


Named after the TV drama Asunaro Hakusho, (starring the incredibly handsome Kimura Takuya) the Asunaro-daki is a hug from behind, which was popularized with that show. There really isn’t much to add here, other than “try not to choke her”.


The Kata-zun is when a guy places his head on a girl’s shoulders. This goes back into something called ‘gap-moé’ which describes the cuteness of something that’s rare, or very different from normal. Here, it’s mostly about if a guy is normally tough and/or strong, this action shows a rare moment of weakness and vulnerability that isn’t normally present, which causes the ‘gap’.
(Editor’s note: Do try not to drool if you do end up falling asleep….)

【bonus】蝉ドン (semi don)

Here is the evolved, gag-version of the kabe-don, known as the semi-don (Cicada-don).
….Japan is weird.

What did you think? Is this weird for you? have you ever tried these gestures? What kind of gestures would you prefer?


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