GAIJIN GUYS - Things to avoid on a date
Written by Jeff

Things you might want to avoid during a date

Here is a list of things you may want to avoid during a date with a Japanese woman! .
Hi everyone!
Gaijin Guys is a new series mostly for males who want to know more about dating Japanese women.
Since people are all different, these will be mostly general observations and topics that have been discussed on Japanese media. Therefore, this content may not always apply to to your date specifically, but it’s always good to have the knowledge that some people think this way, just in case!

This time, we take a look at a few actions that may be considered unattractive to your Japanese dinner date.

*images here are taken from google images and belong to their respective owners

1.Not making plans in advance

Whilst it can be fine to be laid back and go with the flow, this can easily lead to other problems down the line, especially on the first few dates. Without planned reservations in advance, what happens next tends to be: you asking your date what she wants to eat, her replying “anything, i don’t mind”, and then you making a suggestion which she then rejects. (Although this may not be limited to Japanese women, and may even be considered universal).

Especially in Japan, where communication is cryptic, it may be hard to decipher whether or not “sure, why not?” is actually a yes or no. Furthermore, these interactions tend to let her think that you are indecisive and dependent on her, which may kill the mood. Finally, even once you eventually decide on a place, Tokyo restaurants tend to be packed on the evenings, and may just lead to another wave of disappointment for you and your date.

Make life easy for yourself, and make a reservation for two at a nice restaurant in advance.

2.Being too concerned with money

Let me preface this with the fact that whether or not splitting the bill is acceptable to women is still a widely debated topic in Japan.

In the case that you do however, my recommendation to you is that you shouldn’t look too closely at the actual figures. calculating things down to the specifics can show you as being cheap, there’s hardly any merit to it in the context of a date. Be prepared to spend money on the day, and just ask for a symbolic payment of 1000 yen or something close to the figure you are prepared to let her pay.

Anything division smaller than a 1000 that requires coins may also make you look like you’re a cheapskate. It's a bit costly and goes against gender equality , but potentially avoiding that is an investment risk worth taking.

The reverse has also become a topic in recent years, with women talking about receiving money from men. 
If the lady has to take a taxi home after missing the train for….various reasons, it is common courtesy for the male to foot the bill for the ride. The point here, is to ask her how much the fare usually is, and then over-pay.
e.g. if she says it normally costs about 3000, handing her at least 5000 is the safe way to go. 

Note: The image below has become extremely widespread, and basically has women saying if you’re going to give money, you should be cool and just hand over a 10,000 yen note.

3.Food orders

Up until now, being a considerate male with regards to food orders has always centered around not ordering garlicky food, and avoiding foods that may affect her appearance, such as food with squid ink, that may stain her teeth. Recently however, there has been talk on the internet as to other food orders that you may also cause you to be judged, when eating at an Izakaya. The culprit food orders in question here are “Sliced Tomatoes”, “ Bean Sprouts” and “Oolong tea”(for males).

“Why?” you may ask. The reasons are as follows:

【Sliced Tomatoes】
Bad value for money as it can be easily prepared even at home,
and also many of the Japanese can’t stand the taste/texture of tomatoes, so it may show your insensitivity to the needs of others.

【Bean Sprouts】
Often associated as being the cheapest option at supermarkets, and again, is bad value for money.

【Oolong Tea】
Aside from being bad value for money (I'm sensing a pattern here...), it may signify that she has to drink alcohol alone and that you would like for her to get drunk alone for…whatever reasons. If you’re asking a girl to go out to a place that serves alcohol, be prepared to drink some.


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